Without You Here
by gypsywriter135
Summary: That love could kill the pain, truth is never vain, turns strangers into lovers, and enemies to brothers."


I really have no idea where this came from...

I was just sitting in my room earlier, watching videos online, and i came across one video where this song was playing. I had heard the song before, because it is by one of my favorite bands. But then this idea just sorta blossomed and... yeah. This is what happens when I only get 5 hours of sleep and watch videos when I should be studying...

But yeah. You can take it any way you like, except slash. It's not intended to be slash, so please don't view it as that.

So, here is the madness that is me :) Hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The song, "Without You Here" belongs to the Goo Goo Dolls.

TMNTTMNTTMNTTMNT

Raphael leapt from rooftop to rooftop, his breath forming in little clouds in front of his face. His breathing was coming in short breathes from the long time that he had been running. It had been about an hour straight now.

To be honest, he was getting a little worried. His older brother had been missing for a good part of the day, and after what had happened the last time that Leo had failed to check in, Raph wasn't going to take any chances.

_They were just about to go looking for him when, all of a sudden, he came barreling through the window of April's apartment. He crashed to the floor, where he lay unmoving. Even after his brothers had lifted his head, he still appeared to not be breathing…_

_He wouldn't answer anything… because he couldn't…_

**Your love's a gathered storm I chased across the sky**

Raph had to stop running for a moment as his mind became clouded with visions from the past. Visions he had wanted to bury, but they kept resurfacing even after all these years. All he really needed was to make sure that he was okay.

**A moment in your arms became the reason why**

**And you're still the only light that fills the emptiness**

**The only one I need until my dying breath**

If he wasn't, Raph didn't know what he was going to do. He had already almost lost him once; he couldn't go through that again.

Still unable to continue as his memories broke down his carefully laid barriers, he looked around him, trying to take in his surroundings. He really had no idea where he was. Looking over the edge of the roof he was on, he saw two street signs.

He was close to where they had taken down the Shredder. And suddenly, Raph knew where he should be. Composing himself, he stood up strait and leapt over the rooftop to the fire escape on the other building, where he quietly and quickly shimmied down and headed toward his destination.

He needed to make sure that he was okay…

**And I would give you everything just to**

**Feel your open arms**

He hoped he would be the one to find him. Raph hadn't said some very nice things the last time any of them had seen him. Raph had been angry, but he had also been scared.

**And I'm not sure I believe anything I feel**

He had been confused…

**And now, now that you're near**

Raph could see the water tower, and the dark figure that stood underneath it. His legs found the energy that they seemed to have forgotten ages ago, and his speed increased.

**There's nothing more without you **

**Without you here**

"Hey," Raph said, poking his head under the tower.

Leonardo nodded in his direction, indicating that he acknowledged his presence.

"Um… where've you been?" Raph asked.

Leo shrugged. "Around."

"Look, Leo…"

**And I'm trying to believe**

**In things that I don't know**

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I nev… I never should have said those things, especially after what had just happened. It was… it was wrong and I didn't mean it."

**The turning of the world**

Leo looked at him, his brown eyes narrowed to just slits. Raph hated when Leo did that.

**The color of your soul**

For as much as Leo had mastered his facial expressions, Raph could always read his emotions in his eyes, and when Leo narrowed them, it cut off the only thing Raph could use to see what his brother was thinking. Those dark brown orbs held the secret to the turtle within.

**That love could kill the pain**

**Truth is never vain**

Leo looked at him like that for the longest time. It took forever before he made any move or said anything.

**It turns strangers into lovers**

**And enemies to brothers**

He fell to his knees, and Raph rushed forward. There was no denying what Leo was thinking now. His eyes were wide with large tears in them, looking at Raph with sorrow.

"I know," he whispered. "But it just felt like it was all my fault."

"But it wasn't. No one could have prevented it. It was meant to be."

Leo nodded. "It's just not fair…"

"I know, bro. I know…"

**Just say you understand**

**I never had this planned**

Raph brought his older closer to him and wrapped him in a hug. The two sat like that for a long time, taking turns comforting each other.

**And now, now that you're near **

**There's nothing more without you **

**Without you here**

**There's nothing more without you**

**Without you here**

After a few hours, it began to snow. Raph and Leo looked at each other and came to a silent agreement. They helped one another stand, making sure to keep a tight hold on each other. They looked each other in the eyes, both a still a little teary.

"What am I supposed to do now?" Leo asked, his voice wavering a little.

Raph looked up at the sky, which was grey, the snow falling lightly but steadily. "We move on. Like we have been doing."

**There's nothing more without you **

**Without you here**

Leo looked at Raph again and brought him into another hug, clutching at the back of his shell. Raph did the same. When they pulled apart, Leo was shivering from the time he had been out in the cold.

"Come on," Raph said. "Let's go." He started to head off in the direction he had come, but he stopped when he felt a dead weight on the end of his arm. Turning around, he saw Leo clinging to his arm, those eyes that Raph loved so much wide and full of fear.

"I can't go back there, Raph," he said, his teeth chattering a bit.

"Leo…"

"No, I… I just need time…"

**My head lies to my heart **

**And my heart it still believes**

Raph looked at Leo, understanding what he was saying, but not wanting to believe it. They had been through a lot the past few years, and even more the past few weeks. Today had been the hardest, especially after it all happened…

"Leo, you can't… I mean… you just can't…"

"Raph, I need to sort through this stuff in my head. I just can't deal with it right now, and if I go back there, I'm gonna lose it and…" Leo paused, choking up a bit as a lump formed in his throat. Raph had tears forming in his eyes again.

"But… I'll be all alone…" Raph whispered.

**It seems the ones who love us are the ones**

**That we deceive**

Leo took a deep breath, calming his nerves. Raph searched his face, memorizing the features. He looked into those dark brown eyes. Those eyes that held so much life, so much laughter, cheer, sorrow…

Pain…

He would never forget those eyes.

Leo looked at him the same way.

They hugged one last time, tears streaming down their faces.

"I love you, little brother."

"I love you too, big brother."

**But you're changing everything**

They broke away, looked at one another one last time, and then he turned and walked slowly to the edge of the roof. He looked back at Raph, smiled a small, teary, comforting smile, and then disappeared over the edge.

**You're changing everything in me**

Raph ran to the edge, but when he looked over the edge, there was no sign of life.

**And now, now that you're near **

Years later, Raph stood in that same spot, as he did every night. But he knew this night was going to be the same. He sighed and shivered slightly, thinking back on those horrible days.

He was never going to come back, and Raph was never going to leave.

But he knew that; he had known that the minute he had left.

But still he stayed there; watching, waiting, and hoping.

**There's nothing more without you **

**Without you here**

TMNTTMNTTMNTTMNT

What'd ya' think?! Let me know; it's my first song-fic, so I'm interested in what you guys think! So click the little blue box in the bottom left hand corner. Come, on. Click it... click it...


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